super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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