Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
