So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We're too hungover to prance.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
