Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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