She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
