I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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