can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
