Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
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