operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
