Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
