I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
