Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
