So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
