You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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