I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
