It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
