He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
