I want to have your abortion
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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