I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
