A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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