I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
