There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
