Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
