Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just invented taco cereal.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
