No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
