my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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