8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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