Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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