Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
