I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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