Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
