I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
