this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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