The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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