You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
