So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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