I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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