Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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