do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
