We should be called the Road Head Warriors
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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