playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
