So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
