some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
