I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
