Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
