she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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