you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
