i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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