I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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