Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize