I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
