So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
