i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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