I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
