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• (805): View more from California

  It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back

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• (+91): View more from India

  I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.

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• (716): View more from New York

  We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.

  (713): View more from Texas

  You always say the most romantic things

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.

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