sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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