we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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