So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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