Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
