Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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