Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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